| the ex is coming over this evening. it seems we've been talking on the phone a lot more now that we're not together anymore. it's weird. sometimes it feels like we're in pre-relationship mode, courting one another. she called me up this afternoon from work and asked me what i was doing tonight. i told her i was looking forward to watching a film or two i'd rented. she told me she'd like to watch them with me. okay. so i'm picking her up at 6. we'll pick up some food and come straight home after (i'll ask her if she wants to take a walk outside - the streets are beautiful, light snow covering everything - then we'll most probably watch Wong Kar-Wai's As Tears Go By). but i'm not sure if it's such a good idea. i mean, it won't hurt. i'm not likely to get sucked back into that relationship 'cause i know (now) why we broke up in the first place (and it's getting clearer by the day. finally). and i don't think she's getting any ideas either. she even mentioned she's going back home afterwards. so everything's alright. but it does feel like we're kinda courting each other, feeling each other out. there's definitely some affection on my end of things. it's like we left the post-relationship portion and somehow are finding ourselves in the run-up to one. it's weird. and very cool how i'm able to clearly see this while it happens. i will not get sucked back into a relationship with her anytime soon, don't worry about that. i'm just realizing how all of this felt as i was driving home from my mom's place last night.
Posted by Anonymous | 4:47 PM
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