| what's that about residual something-something when a relationship ends? yeah, well, last night i found out i wasn't immune to it. it was our work xmas party. a short two-hour affair at the end of our shift with food and gifts. the ex wasn't working but, like most of the good people, she was gonna come. and she did. as soon as i saw her enter and sit at a table, i was painfully aware for most of the evening of where she was the whole time (two tables behind me). for some reason i was uncomfortable. i dunno, residual jealousy because i didn't have her anymore and it would've been nice? something like that. i looked in her direction twice but i never caught her looking at me so i stopped. i didn't wanna be the lone idiot longing while the other one doesn't care. the room was crowded so everyone spent the entire time talking among their tablemates and having a good time. as soon as the two hours were up we left. that's when i passed behind the ex and rubbed the back of her arm and gave her a smile. she smiled back but nothing more. i was like, wtf? am i the only one who, after a fucking week, still cares about the other one? fuck it. i waited for a friend outside the room while everyone was walking out and she was also left waiting and talked to a few people passing by. we didn't speak. somehow, a few minutes later, after not being to say a nice goodbye, she was also in the same elevator as i was. she might need a ride home. i offered. somehow i ended up helping her out with the gifts she'd won and giving her a ride home. we seemed normal again and talked. i told her i'd felt uncomfortable at the party because, clearly, i was still mourning our relationship. she was nice and, when i left her apartment (took the gifts inside for her), i gave her two hugs and she looked touched. next time i wanna ask her where she's at right now because she wasn't talking much. i'm not over her yet and i don't think she is either but i wanna keep the communication open between us. i'm not into playing games or having to draw people's thoughts out. the ride home, a godsend, was nice, though, and put a nice cap to the weird party.
Posted by Anonymous | 9:04 AM
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