February 27, 2005

w-holy shit.
so yesterday i hear that this really cute girl from work told my ex that she misses me because we don't see each other at work anymore, right? (she gushes more over my future roommate, though -- how cool he is and how cute his eyes are.) well, today she told my ex that she didn't get what was wrong with me, couldn't understand what i was waiting for. we didn't know what that meant either, but the next thing surprised the fuck outta me -- she told my ex that she might ask me out, to try i out. seriously (see? my fantasies can be true sometimes :P). she said she didn't have anything to lose by asking. the thing is, i can't see a potential relationship with this girl going on for even a year. it feels desperate (maybe it's my self-esteem talking :) like she's lonely and is just trying to hook up. i do believe she's kinda into me. i trust that. we hit it off kinda well last summer. but there's still something missing (even though we never went out or seriously hung out and talked to her). like i said, i don't think it would go too far. i'm looking for a serious relationship right now (if i am at all). of course i fantasize about a potential relationship with her (ever since the ex told me about her comment yesterday (and of course last summer)). but i also see (from what my small database on her consists of) it not going too far. she's definite eye-candy and i had fun being around her, but i believe she can be a tiny bit of a basket case. tiny bit. she's had a horrible past year, mostly coming from her messy breakup with her live-in boyfriend. i'm also work-friends with her younger brother (20). he obviously loves her but he's also got some issues with her. so i dunno how much salt i gotta take his comments with. that's the hard thing about it, i don't her that much. hmm. and now i'm stressing because of her off-hand comment about maybe asking me out. i'm stressing because she's the kind of insecure girl who'll just go for what she wants (but in my case i think i've got some time, i don't think she's unleashed the dogs just yet). i fear that it wouldn't go anywhere near where i'd want it to go, but at the same time i'm curious about her, and a possible us. if i were 24 i'd go for it. no question about it. but now i feel more mature, more responsible. uh. and it sucks. lol. going on a date would be fair, i think, (then there's the whole ex/work/coworkers shit to deal with) and essential to getting to really know her (we were on teasing mode all summer-long. i never really got to know her that well outside of that except for snippets of her life i'd hear from coworker friends). of course, i know that.

anyway.
lol.
talk about putting the horse before the cart, uh? :P

input. input. please :)
thank you :) and goodnight to all.

Posted by Anonymous | 10:45 PM |