June 17, 2005

i'm a bit confused. tonight i was truly heartbroken. i was finally starting to make my peace with not having any kind of future interaction with New Lab Girl. before dinner i see her coming at the end of the corridor. of course i made it a point to look at her to see if she would respond. but i got snubbed! she only looked down and seemed dejected. i felt like it was the nail in the coffin, the one that pushed me away. oh, to top it all off, my work partner called in sick tonight. urgh. lol. (that and the fact that i had some more cleaning up to do after work before Future Roommate moves in tomorrow morning.) so i had no one to confide in about my poor miserable soul ::hand to forehead::. i was able to think, though, about other stuff through the evening. thank god for that. at the break i saw Original Lab Girl at their table. couldn't see New Lab Girl but i didn't wanna push it and start looking for her either. towards the end of our break i see a red shirt getting up -- my Girl ;) i looked at her, not wanting to miss a split second of her looking my way this time, and for some reason looking contentedly towards her. i didn't see her looking at me but she had that knowing half smile back on her face! she looked straight ahead but her eyes alight and sweetest, slight smile on her lips. it felt good to see her smiling again and not have that sad expression on her face. the only sure way to understand it all is to talk to her at some point, i guess. of course i felt it was a little bit for me. there was no one else around! and no one smiles like that on their own for that long a time while passing my table :P i'm not saying everything's back on again. it's really not. my imagined relationship has been pretty rocky this week. but i guess i won't be crossing it out this weekend, is all i'm saying. after this confusing week, i can live with that.

btw, where are all the girls on this site? come on. i know you're out there. i'd love to get your opinions on this matter.

Billy Corgan reminisces about sweet childhood adventures.

have a good night. the next time i'll talk to you will be from a high speed connection :) (the new roommate has its advantages :) and now that i think of it, i'm actually looking forward to tomorrow night when i've got a new roommate to live with.)

Posted by Sam | 11:22 PM |