a broken lull.

i left a message on the ex's machine saturday afternoon. i wanted to tell her i was sorry things got out of hand with our conversation the day before. well, almost 48 hours later, she timidly calls back. first she tells me she didn't have time all weekend. i know she was in Montreal saturday and had stuff to do sunday but a two-minute call doesn't take too much time. then she says she didn't wanna see me angry again. well, fuck. what the hell do you expect? that things'll be better after not calling for two fucking days?? i'm pissed right now. and although her not calling is part of the reason why, i only have a vague idea about the rest of the reason. we almost got into another argument just now over homosexuality. she stills says it's as much a sin as stealing. of course it is, but she doesn't see why i would be insulted by acomment lumping together people who steal and homosexuals. i mean, come on. btw, she still had no reason beyond than "God said it was" to justify homosexuality being wrong. so she believes it because God said it, not because she has a belief or a reason. just because God does. and she brings up Adam and Eve being created and not Adam and Adam. for fuck's sake. she truly believes homosexuality is unnatural. she still likes and respects homosexuals, but believes it is a choice, a temptation, or something happened to these folks to make them attracted to people of the same sex. fuck. i'm pissed. *shakes head* lol. we're both working tonight but i'm not picking her up. she mentioned she was working the same time as i would. i didn't say anything because she has a tendency not to ask but have people come ask her for what she wants. that was the closest she came to asking me. i know things'll be cold from my end when i see her tonight, and for at least the next few days, but will i be able to talk to her normally again - even if we don't bring up the subject of homosexuality? i hope we can overcome it but right now i'm too outraged to see much of anything :)

god.
... lol.

any comments, suggestions, or appeasing thoughts are more than welcomed :)

2:51 PM

a few minutes have passed now and i'm already a bit more calm about the whole situation. lol. i guess writing it out really does work like magic. i do feel i could speak with her more calmly now. and i do think i will be able to have her over tomorrow to watch 24. but a few minutes ago it was totally out of the question, and i would only have lended her the episode for her to watch on her own. lol :)
suggestions are still welcomed, though :) i'm more reasonable now but i'll never truly be over it. i mean, it would be the same if one of my friends was be racist (which i guess some still are; the subject is just left alone) or sexist. you accept them for who they are but there's always this ugly side of them that you know about. (which i guess is how the ex views homosexuals? i have no idea how her mind works so i'm totally working on assumptions here but maybe she accepts them but still knows they are sinning. which, btw, i asked her if she was having sex outside of the marriage and said yes and that she was also a sinner. everyone was. i guess her view on homosexuals isn't Nazi crazy because she said she wasn't holding herself higher than anyone. but what fucks with me with these religious folks is how their way is The Way and people are just gonna wake up and get it one day. that is what pisses me. or one of the things ;)

3:43 PM

i phoned her up and called a truce. i found out i was ready to move on from this (funny how quickly we can recover from intense shit :). we won't bring the subject up, but then again, we rarely did in the year-and-a-half we've known each other, and i do believe we'll be fine. thank god i broke up with her, though :P and you know what she told me? her views on gays and gay marriage was what i told her did it for me to decide to break up with her back then. lol. i'd totally forgotten about that. it's still only a vague memory. although that was not the main, that might've had something to do with it, yeah. that's when i realized we had a lot different views on a lot of stuff and there wasn't much hope left for a relationship with such opposing views on issues i felt so strongly about.

Posted by Anonymous | 2:34 PM |