December 17, 2005

hello, the word of the week, for me, would be heartbroken.
read on if you don't mind me bringing out my Lab Girl story and adding a bit to it :) the week was alright. i'm not in any real pain. but suffering? some of the time i was, yeah. so, about a week ago i couldn't get anything out of New Lab Girl. not one glance (that i could tell). nothing. i haven't seen her since. but who i have seen is the Original Lab Girl. she came back fiercely this week. wow. my two best friends from work, the only ones who've followed this story all along, just glared at me, shocked, once she'd passed by wednesday night. i was like, what? she actually turned all the way around as she passed our table, and me, right on the edge, to look at straight at me. with a table full of my friends. i was flattered, of course. our game is still on and i at least have that. but the other girl is my first choice. how much of an asshole would i look like if word got to her about me and her co-worker's little flirting? when she came back to the evening shifts this fall, i made it a point not to look at the other one because i was serious about it. but she's not here. and the last week she was, it looked to me like she was blatantly ignoring me. but that's beside the point. jump to today. i catch Friendster's horoscope for Libras and it's talking about an intriguing situation but be careful and don't look up. wtf?? it was so my situation with Original Lab Girl. but be careful and don't look up? fuck. it was too precise. the temptation to look at her would be tremendous, though. and i was torn. but in the end, i decided not to look at her during our break. see what would come of it. (yeah, big decisions, aren't they? lol) when our break ended i quickly glanced at the back of her head, though, as i was caught off guard. i hadn't seen her there. so when i first came in, she was actually looking straight at me and i ignored her. fuck. but hopefully one of her friends saw me glancing at her as i was leaving and will let her know. [ that's the part i've felt most torn up about - slighting her. what it made it frustrating was that it looked like she was incredibly interested yesterday. much more so than usual. she usually makes it a point to shoot a glance at me, sure, but yesterday she was very expectant and much more into it. hopefully it was more than the full moon and i'll get more shots at it next week :) but when i got up from our break it looked like she was actually waiting for me to pass by. her body language looked very anxious and expecting. she's usually cooler than this. but this time, her body was turned away from her friends, her legs almost in the aisle. hopefully she'll have taken my ass-inaction in stride, not as a snub, go back to her boyfriend for the weekend, forget about me for the time being, and everything will be back to normal next week. that would be cool :) ] it sure as hell didn't feel right to ignore her like that. i'd take it back in a second. i've felt shitty and torn ever since, and it's been eating me up inside. hence, the word of the week that was - heartbroken :) (albeit, in a very temporary manner.) thanks for listening and being patient with me :)

ooh, this (and the very cool xmas gift i have in store for the ex-roommate for tonight; i can't say what it is in case she ever learned about this blog but i'll tell you all tomorrow :) just brightened up my fucking day!

Posted by Sam | 12:36 AM |